History of Conveyancing

Today is my first day lecturing at the University of Conveyancing, and I’m really nervous. I’ll be teaching the History of Conveyancing class. I’ve prepared a script for the first few minutes, and I’d love to know what you all think. Please tell me that it’s good. Alright, here we go.

Listen up you no-good, worthless snail-lickers, my name is Thompson Ryan, and I’ll be your lecturer this semester. Today, we’re going to be learning about the absolute basics of conveyancing. We won’t be talking about what the best conveyancing practices in the Richmond area are. We won’t even be thinking about that, so get it out of your heads. Today I’ll be answering the simple question: what is conveyancing and where did it start? 

Let’s start at the beginning. Conveyancing began way back in the 1300s when a nobleman by the name of Sir Thomas Cooper decided that he wanted to buy the property of a local peasant. In order to assure that the process was done legally, he told his court accountant to learn all about property purchasing laws. Thus, the first-ever conveyancer was created. I don’t care how fake that sounds, that is the exact and true story of how conveyancing was invented, according to this university’s curriculum. If you want to pass my class, you’d best put that to memory.

I’m sure you’re wondering all about my personal connection with conveyancing. Well, listen up, you chocolate-coated tissue-eaters. I worked for years in the industry of conveyancing. Prahran was my suburb of choice. Do you want to guess how many houses I have been involved in the sale of? Over five hundred. If you ever want to get close to those numbers, you’d better pay attention, because History of Conveyancing is the most important class you will ever take. Are you ready, kids? Good, let’s get learning, then. 

So, loyal reader, what do you think? Am I going to blow this class away with my awesome lecturing ability? Let me know in the comments!

Flower Trouble Solution

Has this ever happened to you? What’s that? You can’t actually see me because I’m typing on a website, rather than in a video? Dang, that’s really going to ruin this pitch of mine. Well, I’ll try my best to get it across by text.

Has this ever happened to you? You walk along the street in your fancy suit, after a long and tiresome day at the office, in the heart of the city, wherever you live. You’re just about ready to get on a train, throw on a podcast and relax on the long hour home. But then, all of a sudden you notice a beautiful stand, filled with every kind of flower you can imagine. Daffodils, daisies, desert roses and more. You realise that you haven’t done anything nice for your wife in a while, and she does really love flowers, so you go and ask if they have any standard roses for sale. They’re a flower stand, so of course, they have roses for sale, silly. You grab this beautiful bouquet of roses and head onto the train with your headphones in, listening to the latest episode of Monster Hunters or whatever podcast you’re into.

Oh no! Your foot got caught in the gap between the platform and the train! Although you aren’t in any real danger, your roses are now sprawled all over the train floor, and a guy with muddy boots is jumping all over them! You can’t possibly give these to your wife! What are you going to do?

Boy, do I have a solution for you. Did you know that in this glorious day of the internet, you can actually buy seeds online? You can buy flowers too! Isn’t that amazing?  Well, I mean, technically it will probably take you longer than walking up to a stand that you were close to anyway, but you won’t have to worry about transporting them home, which was the whole point! What are you waiting for? Make your wife’s day and buy some flowers on the internet!