Another day, another auto shop approached by the Conclave of Mechanists, looking for new recruits. This one, not quite the same as the others, though. The Captain had Detectives Maphira and Vai sent straight on a plane to Adelaide. Technically, this case wasn’t under their jurisdiction, but he’d gotten special permission to have them investigate since it was the first time the Mechanists had shown up in South Australia.

Things were moving quickly. Far too quickly for Maphira’s liking. She had a bad feeling that the Mechanists would make a big move soon. What better time to make it than when the two detectives hunting you down are interstate?

They arrived at the mechanic based in Lockleys just before noon. Maphira ignored the grumbling in her stomach – having only eaten a blueberry muffin on the flight over – and shifted her focus to the task ahead. As pointless a task it is, she thought, unable to hold the bitterness back. So many hoops to jump through. If only she could have cut some corners. She could get to the bottom of this so much quicker that way. No. You’re not going to do that. You’ll do this the right way. You’re better than her.

“You okay?” Vai asked, leaning against the rental car. “You seem a bit out of it.”

Maphira swallowed. Head in the game, girl. “I’m fine. What’s the report, say again?”

Vai sighed, clearly annoyed that she had to read it for the third time. “This auto electrical shop was approached by two Mechanists this morning. They suggested that the automobile servicing industry was booming in Melbourne, attempting to coerce the owner to move his business interstate, with help from the Conclave.”

“They’re trying to recruit people from Adelaide now? Man, they must be desperate. Don’t they know that people from Adelaide kind of hate Melbourne? Why on Earth would they want to move their business there?”

Via smiled, recognising that Maphira’s wits were coming back to her. “Good to have you back. Let’s do this.”

Detective Maphira knelt down on the asphalt of the underwater tunnel connecting Victoria and Tasmania. She placed two fingers on the ground, collecting the trail of oil with her gloved fingers. Judging the scent, she put the clue in the back of her mind for further examination later.

The scene was a mess, with a broken motorcycle and a ruined limousine blocking the road and thousands of scattered metal pieces strewn across the road. As Detective Vai set up the police tape, Maphira pictured what might have happened here.

Explosive used, obviously. What kind of rookie detonates something like that while being close enough on their bike to get hit by the blast, though? 

“Detective, are you there?” came the Sergeant’s voice from her radio.

“Here, boss,” Maphira replied, tapping the radio’s button without bothering to lift it to her mouth. “What’s up?”

“An auto electrician near Milperra just reported that some strange men came and tried to recruit them to their cause. We suspect Conclave activity.”

Maphira clenched a fist, sure she knew exactly where this was going. “And you can’t send any of the others to investigate? You need me and Vai to make our way back to Melbourne on the double because everybody else is tied up? Right?”

“That is correct,” said the Sergeant.

Groaning out her frustration, Maphira stood straight and called over to Detective Vai. “Looks like we’re on our way to a mechanic. Near me, everybody!” After everyone gave their attention, she continued. “Detective Vai and I have to get out of here. Another important case to check out. Get this mess cleaned up and make sure I get a full report of any evidence by tomorrow.”

It wasn’t like the Conclave to be so bold with their recruitment strategies. Usually, they pulled people in with more subtle tactics. Telling people they were chosen by fate to pave the way for their robot, mechanical utopia, for instance. No, if they had openly approached somebody to join them, it was just a diversion.

Rylee stormed toward the crashed limousine with extreme rage, ready to make her absolute best intimidation roll. Natural twenty coming right up, baby. Dirk Bradshaw would be so scared that he’d tell her everything about the Conclave of Mechanists and then some.

As she approached the wreckage, she couldn’t help but laugh. Thank goodness the vehicle hadn’t had any ADAS. Those dang advanced driver assistance systems always made it hard to sneak up on a vehicle, informing the driver that she was getting too close. Car cameras and sensors had become the bane of her existence lately.

She reached the limo and grasped the handle of the upside-down door, yanking it away. The door came right off, smashing into the ground beside her. Beyond the open doorway, Rylee saw two people: Dirk and some young man. Both were unconscious. 

Rylee reached in and grabbed Dirk by the shoulders, hauling him out of the wreckage. As he stirred, she shoved him into the glass wall of the Bass Strunnel. His eyes widened as he realised the predicament he’d found himself in.

“Where is that kobold going?” she asked, resisting the urge to slam her fist into his chest. “Tell me!”

Dirk gave a dark, toothy grin. He coughed, and for a moment Rylee was sure he would say nothing. “Cambridge. It’s a workshop for auto repairs around Cambridge. Is that what you want to hear? It doesn’t matter – you’ll never get there in time.”

He was lying. She was sure of it. There was no way he’d give up that information so easily. And yet, in doing so, she’d found out exactly what she needed to know. The Hobart workshop was unlikely. The Conclave would want a suburb they could use that would not attract attention to themselves.

“Brighton it is. Thanks, Dirk.”

His eyes widened, panic there before he managed to conceal it. Rylee dropped Dirk to the asphalt – he struck it with a thud, grunting.

“I’ll be taking him with me,” she said with a grin. “See you around, Tyrone.”

I just saw the strangest thing… I’m not quite ready to talk about it, so let me tell you a little bit about my day up to the moment my life changed forever. As most people do, when I woke up I thought this would be a perfectly normal day. I thought nothing weird would happen at all. After getting ready for my normal day, I took my car around to an auto electrician in the Seaford area, seeking a fix up for my vehicle. Once that was done, I drove to work and did a regular day of things that I usually do at my job. Nothing out of the ordinary. After my work had been completed, I got in my car and decided to drive through the woods on my way home. That was where it happened. That was where my life changed. I will never forget what I saw there. What did I see? I saw a gorilla holding a bunch of coloured balloons.

What’s so weird about that? Well, that was just the beginning. I continued driving, deeper into the woods. After about ten minutes, I saw a strange tree, its branches all warped and spiralling upwards. I’d never seen anything like it. And you know what was on top of this tree? That same gorilla. That was when I started to think I was just imagining things. How could that gorilla be moving around the forest so quickly? Was there something in my car’s air conditioning that made me hallucinate? But I’d only bought it recently, and the guy I got it from said he’d been to the best mechanic for a roadworthy certificate Frankston had to offer. So, surely it couldn’t be that. Not to mention I’d just taken the vehicle to a mechanic that day. No, I wasn’t hallucinating. This gorilla was real.

So yeah, if you drive out to the woods, keep an eye out for a creepy gorilla with a bunch of balloons. He’s not dangerous or anything, but your life will never be the same once you’ve seen him.

I thought this Cars Go Vroom game was so amazing a few months ago, but it has really lost me now. I’m not sure if I’m getting bored with the game itself or this specific group and storyline. We finished our first car adventure a while ago and it was overall pretty good, but I think the Game Master may have run out of ideas now. Cars that are going on a spy thriller quest? That seems like a bit of a stretch. Not very realistic. And I know how funny that sounds, from somebody role-playing as a sentient car and all, but it has just gotten ridiculous. I think the worst part is that Motor is actually getting even more attention in this new adventure we’re on. He’s easily the worst character in the group, so why is the story revolving around him? Nobody asked for that.

I think I need to find a new group. I found this one at a mechanic in Hawthorn, so perhaps I should go to a workshop for car repairs in Glen Iris next time and see if anybody there plays Cars Go Vroom. If they do, I’ll definitely ask to join their group. I don’t think I can take much more of Motor in my role-playing games. Sometimes I just want to role-play punching him in the face. Instead, I spend most of the sessions on my phone. When the Game Master asks what I want to do, I tell him that I continue racing in my world tour. That usually buys me about an hour before I get asked again. 

I was talking to a guy online recently who said that there are lots of Cars Go Vroom players around my area, so I think my plan involving a mechanic close to Glen Iris is my best bet. If all else fails, maybe I’ll try Goblins and Grottos instead. I’ll whip up a homebrew race called the car folk and continue playing Lightning, my awesome character who says things like “wow” and “ka chow”. He’s super cool, so I wouldn’t want to role-play as any other kind of character.

I’ve got this really funny mechanic named Flavio. He’s easily my favourite mechanic I’ve ever had. Every time I need car repairs, he has a funny story to tell about his life back in Europe. Honestly, I like hanging out with Flavio so much that I’ve considered deliberately getting car damage so that I can just have a chat with him. The last time I was there, he joked that I should just ask him out on a date. Classic Flavio. I feel sorry that you can’t know Flavio as I do. He’s seriously the best European car mechanic in my area. He’s a European car mechanic in multiple ways, as well. Because he’s European, but he also works on European cars! Because I feel so sorry for you, dear reader, I’m going to share four things about my friend, Flavio.

1. Flavio likes to collect old music records, even though he doesn’t have a record player and has no plans to get one. Apparently, he just uses them as coasters for his coffee, while he’s completing engine diagnostics and other mechanic-y things. Classic Flavio!
   
2. My awesome car mechanic loves to practice yoga on the weekends! You wouldn’t expect it from a man like him, but you can see that it really pays off. He’s in great shape, especially for someone his age. I’ve asked where he does yoga and whether I could join him, but apparently, he just does it using videos online.
3. This one is really crazy, but Flavio believes that cows are often abducted by aliens in their space shuttles! He reckons he’s seen it happen on multiple occasions. How strange is that? If you want a mechanic close to Frankston who knows what’s going on in the world, Flavio’s your man.
4. Flavio is afraid of train tunnels. I know, that’s a pretty strange fear, but he says that he absolutely can’t go anywhere near them. Every time he’s going to take a train, he first checks to make sure it doesn’t go under a tunnel.
   

There you go. Hopefully, that gives you a good idea of how cool Flavio is. Hopefully, you will get to meet him yourself, one day.