Category Archives: Cars

Mechanics and Gorillas

I just saw the strangest thing… I’m not quite ready to talk about it, so let me tell you a little bit about my day up to the moment my life changed forever. As most people do, when I woke up I thought this would be a perfectly normal day. I thought nothing weird would happen at all. After getting ready for my normal day, I took my car around to an auto electrician in the Seaford area, seeking a fix up for my vehicle. Once that was done, I drove to work and did a regular day of things that I usually do at my job. Nothing out of the ordinary. After my work had been completed, I got in my car and decided to drive through the woods on my way home. That was where it happened. That was where my life changed. I will never forget what I saw there. What did I see? I saw a gorilla holding a bunch of coloured balloons.

What’s so weird about that? Well, that was just the beginning. I continued driving, deeper into the woods. After about ten minutes, I saw a strange tree, its branches all warped and spiralling upwards. I’d never seen anything like it. And you know what was on top of this tree? That same gorilla. That was when I started to think I was just imagining things. How could that gorilla be moving around the forest so quickly? Was there something in my car’s air conditioning that made me hallucinate? But I’d only bought it recently, and the guy I got it from said he’d been to the best mechanic for a roadworthy certificate Frankston had to offer. So, surely it couldn’t be that. Not to mention I’d just taken the vehicle to a mechanic that day. No, I wasn’t hallucinating. This gorilla was real.

So yeah, if you drive out to the woods, keep an eye out for a creepy gorilla with a bunch of balloons. He’s not dangerous or anything, but your life will never be the same once you’ve seen him.

CAR-PG Woes

I thought this Cars Go Vroom game was so amazing a few months ago, but it has really lost me now. I’m not sure if I’m getting bored with the game itself or this specific group and storyline. We finished our first car adventure a while ago and it was overall pretty good, but I think the Game Master may have run out of ideas now. Cars that are going on a spy thriller quest? That seems like a bit of a stretch. Not very realistic. And I know how funny that sounds, from somebody role-playing as a sentient car and all, but it has just gotten ridiculous. I think the worst part is that Motor is actually getting even more attention in this new adventure we’re on. He’s easily the worst character in the group, so why is the story revolving around him? Nobody asked for that.

I think I need to find a new group. I found this one at a mechanic in Hawthorn, so perhaps I should go to a workshop for car repairs in Glen Iris next time and see if anybody there plays Cars Go Vroom. If they do, I’ll definitely ask to join their group. I don’t think I can take much more of Motor in my role-playing games. Sometimes I just want to role-play punching him in the face. Instead, I spend most of the sessions on my phone. When the Game Master asks what I want to do, I tell him that I continue racing in my world tour. That usually buys me about an hour before I get asked again. 

I was talking to a guy online recently who said that there are lots of Cars Go Vroom players around my area, so I think my plan involving a mechanic close to Glen Iris is my best bet. If all else fails, maybe I’ll try Goblins and Grottos instead. I’ll whip up a homebrew race called the car folk and continue playing Lightning, my awesome character who says things like “wow” and “ka chow”. He’s super cool, so I wouldn’t want to role-play as any other kind of character.

My European Mechanic

I’ve got this really funny mechanic named Flavio. He’s easily my favourite mechanic I’ve ever had. Every time I need car repairs, he has a funny story to tell about his life back in Europe. Honestly, I like hanging out with Flavio so much that I’ve considered deliberately getting car damage so that I can just have a chat with him. The last time I was there, he joked that I should just ask him out on a date. Classic Flavio. I feel sorry that you can’t know Flavio as I do. He’s seriously the best European car mechanic in my area. He’s a European car mechanic in multiple ways, as well. Because he’s European, but he also works on European cars! Because I feel so sorry for you, dear reader, I’m going to share four things about my friend, Flavio.

  1. Flavio likes to collect old music records, even though he doesn’t have a record player and has no plans to get one. Apparently, he just uses them as coasters for his coffee, while he’s completing engine diagnostics and other mechanic-y things. Classic Flavio!
  2. My awesome car mechanic loves to practice yoga on the weekends! You wouldn’t expect it from a man like him, but you can see that it really pays off. He’s in great shape, especially for someone his age. I’ve asked where he does yoga and whether I could join him, but apparently, he just does it using videos online.
  3. This one is really crazy, but Flavio believes that cows are often abducted by aliens in their space shuttles! He reckons he’s seen it happen on multiple occasions. How strange is that? If you want a mechanic close to Frankston who knows what’s going on in the world, Flavio’s your man.
  4. Flavio is afraid of train tunnels. I know, that’s a pretty strange fear, but he says that he absolutely can’t go anywhere near them. Every time he’s going to take a train, he first checks to make sure it doesn’t go under a tunnel.

There you go. Hopefully, that gives you a good idea of how cool Flavio is. Hopefully, you will get to meet him yourself, one day.