I can’t believe my boss has asked me to set up the chairs for our big party today. My friend and I always get stuck with the most boring, most mind-numbing tasks, because the office manager doesn’t trust us with the more exciting stuff. Why can’t we go pick up the cake or set up the decorations? But no, he’s just like “Okay, Michael and Riley, go set up the chairs or you’re fired!” Well, maybe I want to get fired. Maybe I don’t want this lousy job if all I get to do is set up the chairs.

So what, we got a commercial office design company near Melbourne to make our office look nice. Big deal. I could have done that in my sleep. All we needed was a fresh coat of paint on the walls. Alright, I’ll admit that the office does look pretty nice now, but do we really need to throw a party to celebrate? That seems a bit excessive if you ask me.

Obviously, Michael and I haven’t bothered to set up the chairs yet. What’s it going to take? Probably like five minutes. The party isn’t for a few more hours, so we’ve been slacking off by playing old arcade games we found in the company garage. Funnily enough, there’s one where you work to complete commercial office fitouts around Melbourne. I played that for about five minutes before getting bored. But then I found a game called Obliterator of Worlds, so obviously, I had to try that. It was out of order, but I managed to mess with the wires a bit and get it working. Michael is being a total buzzkill, suggesting that we set up the chairs before playing the game, but I’m not buying it. He wants to play this game just as much as I do.

What’s the worst that could happen? A sentient monster comes straight out of the game and tries to destroy our office? Seems unlikely. If Michael wants to get rid of the fun, maybe he should go back to playing Melbourne Office Designers 2.

I’m well aware that Bandit has broken his promise to forgo his life of crime after we got married. And you know what? I’m totally fine with it. At least he’s doing something to help people this time. The local news has reported that with all these Melbourne office break ins, nothing has been stolen or damaged. Yes, Bandit is technically breaking and entering (without the breaking, so I guess it’s trespassing), but as far as I’m concerned it’s a victimless crime. I mean, have you seen the offices he’s designing? They look fantastic.

No doubt the employees of the various businesses that Bandit is “attacking” really appreciate the change of appearance. The news wants to paint him as this villain who is breaking the law and needs to be stopped, but Bandit is just a true Melbourne office design guru. He could be out there smashing glass, but he’s channelled his destructive nature into something positive. I’m actually really proud.

And yes, I know that he thinks I don’t know about this. For some reason, he honestly believes that I don’t read his blog posts (I know for a fact that he doesn’t read mine because I haven’t told him about it), and it does make me a little sad that he feels he needs to go behind my back with this. I just hope the next time he makes a special office space design in the Melbourne area, he feels comfortable telling me about it. He’s always said he wanted to make an office with a space theme, so I would like to be somewhat involved if he’ll let me be.

We’re together forever now, so I do wish he’d trust me a bit more. I understand though. He’s afraid that I’ll be angry, that I’ll think he’s slipped back into a life of crime. I can’t be angry with him, though. Not after everything we have been through together. Not only are we a married couple, but we’re also survivors of Next Top Office season two, and that’s something that keeps people bound for all eternity.– Frankie