Today is my first day lecturing at the University of Conveyancing, and I’m really nervous. I’ll be teaching the History of Conveyancing class. I’ve prepared a script for the first few minutes, and I’d love to know what you all think. Please tell me that it’s good. Alright, here we go.

Listen up you no-good, worthless snail-lickers, my name is Thompson Ryan, and I’ll be your lecturer this semester. Today, we’re going to be learning about the absolute basics of conveyancing. We won’t be talking about what the best conveyancing practices in the Richmond area are. We won’t even be thinking about that, so get it out of your heads. Today I’ll be answering the simple question: what is conveyancing and where did it start? 

Let’s start at the beginning. Conveyancing began way back in the 1300s when a nobleman by the name of Sir Thomas Cooper decided that he wanted to buy the property of a local peasant. In order to assure that the process was done legally, he told his court accountant to learn all about property purchasing laws. Thus, the first-ever conveyancer was created. I don’t care how fake that sounds, that is the exact and true story of how conveyancing was invented, according to this university’s curriculum. If you want to pass my class, you’d best put that to memory.

I’m sure you’re wondering all about my personal connection with conveyancing. Well, listen up, you chocolate-coated tissue-eaters. I worked for years in the industry of conveyancing. Prahran was my suburb of choice. Do you want to guess how many houses I have been involved in the sale of? Over five hundred. If you ever want to get close to those numbers, you’d better pay attention, because History of Conveyancing is the most important class you will ever take. Are you ready, kids? Good, let’s get learning, then. 

So, loyal reader, what do you think? Am I going to blow this class away with my awesome lecturing ability? Let me know in the comments!