What kind of renovation does the Lord of the Elves do? A laundry renovation, of course! Now, I have no idea when I structured that like a joke when there is nothing funny about it and it makes no sense. But anyway, today we’ll be introducing our fans to El-Rod, Lord of the Rivertown elves. For some reason, he has decided that being a lord is boring, so he wanted to join a renovation competition. Even though it makes little sense, we welcome him here with open arms. The world could certainly use more professional laundry designers of the elven kind! So, El-Rod, why have you decided to renovate a laundry? I’d expected you to do a kitchen since elves are always looking for ways to make their vegetarian meals more interesting!
Thanks for having me as a participant in this competition, Matthew. While it is true that elves make interesting vegetarian meals, and we are always looking for awesome new kitchens to cook in, good laundries are arguably even more important to the lives of my elven people. See, we elves like to stay nice and clean. Being dirty is the way of the dwarves, and we hate dwarves. They’re short and ugly and they don’t smell very nice. Elves, on the other hand, take showers every day and use the nicest smelling shampoo. Sorry, that’s a bit beside the point. Back on track, I was looking for a business offering laundry renovations in the Melbourne CBD, when I realised that I could just enter this competition and build one myself. When I’m done, I’ll have the cleanest clothing of all the elves I know.
Wow, it sounds like you have really thought this through. From what I can tell, you don’t have any professional (or even amateur) experience with this sort of thing, but that’s okay since none of our contestants do. I’m sure you’re going to do great. In fact, you might even win the whole thing! Good luck!